Quotes with a sense of humour # 3

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. Alex Levine

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
Rodney Dangerfield

Money can't buy you happiness . but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. Spike Milligan

I am opposed to millionaires... but it would bedangerous to offer me the position. Mark Twain

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. Joe Namath